When you enter into the journey of love, you can’t tell whether you’re going to sink or swim. There is no way to tell whether you’re going to fall, or you’re going to fly. When it comes to love, most of us are as clueless as the next, pretending we know what we’re doing but in reality, we’re just trying to figure it out day by day.
And, that’s what love is – finding someone you’re comparable with, and being two, clueless, lovestruck kids together. While not everyone knows exactly where they’re going to go in the game of love, they do know how they want to be treated.
Yet, often times, we find ourselves in relationships with those who don’t treat us right.
We’ve all dated a bad guy or two – some of us even ten – and, we’ve fallen head over heels for them. We’ve divulged so deep into the love story, that we become so immune to the fact that we’re being mistreated. No matter how many times our best friends and our family tells us, shows us the red flags – we pretend we are colorblind.
We make excuses for their behavior. He didn’t come to an important event because he was busy. He didn’t call you because his phone probably died. He didn’t answer your text because he didn’t see it. He didn’t invite you to the party because he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. He didn’t introduce you to his parents because it was too soon. He didn’t want to hangout because he’s tired.
We come up with lies about their problems. He’s not rude, he’s honest. He’s not insensitive, he’s raw. He’s not abusive, he’s strong. He’s not lazy, he’s laid back. He’s not demanding, he knows what he wants.
We begin to form ourselves into someone who we don’t even know anymore. We begin to lessen ourselves to fit into his mold of what a girlfriend should be, rather than what we want to get out of a relationship entirely.
And we wait.
And we wait.
We wait for them to “come around.” We wait for them to grow. We wait for them to realize.
We wait for them to change.
The truth is, people are who they are. When someone shows you their true colors, don’t try to paint a different picture. Truth is, you aren’t the first girl that he’s hurt and you probably won’t be the last. In fact, you definitely won’t be the last. No matter how hard you try, how much you give, you won’t ever be able to fix him. Instead, you’re going to be left with holes in your heart and darkness in your soul – constantly wondering why you weren’t good enough.
When it comes down to it, it was never you. It was always him.
In love, you need to be with someone who satisfies your needs, first and foremost. Relationships are give and take, not just give – not just take. In love, you need to be honest with yourself, and forget what you want – remembering what you deserve.
You deserve someone who is utterly obsessed with you. Someone who doesn’t make excuses when you portray that as a girlfriend, you have needs. Someone who will call you when they say they will. Someone who will answer the texts that you send them. Someone who comes to events when you tell him that they’re important. Someone who will invite you to the party, and every party, because he’s proud to bring you with him. Someone who introduces you to his parents, because you are part of his life now. Someone who finds the time to see you, no matter what time of night.
In love, you deserve someone who will make you feel important. Someone who will remind you within the little things, that you are always their priority. Someone who shows you that no matter how busy and chaotic life can get, that you are on their mind, even when you are apart.
There is no man out there who will treat you perfectly every single day of the year, but, there are men out there who will try their absolute best. When you fall for someone who treats you right, you aren’t left second guessing, you aren’t left with unsolved mysteries and you’re definitely not left with unanswered questions.
Stop waiting for him to change, constantly dealing with the pit-in-your-stomach pain. Stop making the excuses as to why he’s not around. Stop lying about the behavior that you know is wrong.
Instead of waiting for him to change, wait for the right him.