Woman’s Drunken Night At A Work Event Turns Into The Worst Week Of Her Life

Whenever you go to a work event where they’re serving alcohol, most of us know that drinking too much can lead to some embarrassing experiences.

The last thing you want to do is get completely toasted in front of your boss and say things you shouldn’t, or even worse, things that could lead to your termination. While getting drunk at work events is not always frowned upon, it’s a pretty straightforward truth it could end up pretty ugly. For one Imgur user, getting wasted at a work event she organized not only ended badly but turned into the worst week of her entire life.

The first week of May for onewomanriot did not go as planned. In fact, it was pretty dang awful. She starts off by saying two photos from “Day 1.”

Day 1:

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Story time! So I was at a conference last weekend, for which I was a coordinator, and on the Saturday at the dinner/dance I had 3 glasses of wine and blacked out (first time since my early 20s). Now, as a seasoned wine drinker, 3 glasses over 3 hours with dinner barely turns my crank, so let me tell you the shock I had when I came to on impact after I face planted and ate a nice helping of concrete. I only have flashbacks of the night, but one thing rings true- something was up.

If you think that’s bad, Day 2 happened to be even worse.

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Day 2 – Yep! Turns out my B12s and iron were alarmingly low, and mixed with even a little bit of alcohol, made me drunk beyond belief. Those little red blood cell fuckers of mine weren’t doing their goddamn job of giving my brain oxygen, so down I went. Face first. Had to have emergency oral surgery to remove tooth fragments, my root, and a couple nerves. It was a mess, let me tell you.

The rest of the week continued to spiral downhill from there…

Day 3:

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I couldn’t eat for 3 days, couldn’t brush my teeth, and could barely get water down. I’ll cut the sob story short, but this was also the climax of an incredibly challenging 3 months where work basically took over my life, I had draining obligations almost every evening/weekend, and had been pulling all nighters just to keep myself afloat. My bestie basically said that this happened for a reason to force me to slow down. It was a bad scene for a while, with no end in sight.

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Now this is where things get more interesting. The president of the organization I was running the conference for (a volunteer professional association for women in my industry) called me and told me that they were suspending my membership. Now a little back story here: after I fell, I was in hysterics. Luckily the venue staff was around, but outside of that, I got very little support from anyone in the organization. They blamed the entire situation on irresponsible drinking and me being too drunk. Despite having medical proof that pre-existing conditions caused a reaction with alcohol that was completely unexpected, they just chalked it up to me being a lush. Well fuck them. To make matter worse, nobody decided to call an ambulance after the fall and nobody came to check on me in the morning. I was left to my own devices. Good thing it was only a tooth and not a concussion. Thankfully I have an amazing network of friends who were more than willing to step up and care for me over the past week, but really?! Kick me out? I can’t tell you how much time I put into preparing and executing that conference. A**holes.

Day 4:

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Day 4. As I mentioned above, work has been crazy. I was answering emails two hours after my surgery kinda crazy. Luckily I’ve been able to work from home, but still. I woke up the morning of this picture not to a text from my boss saying “hey, how are you doing?” but rather a “hey, what’s the status of this deliverable?” Silver lining- the pain meds were fun!

Day 5:

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Day 5: Still smiling!

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Day 5 after a shower: so I had my post op appointment this day and the specialist joked that I must have Wolverine blood considering how fast I was healing. Too bad I’m not able to grow back my own tooth, but ????????‍♀, I’ll take my good fortune where I can get it. Turns out that I have a couple complications from the fall and the tooth will eventually die and I’ll need an implant, but as of right now I can get away with a Cadillac of crowns (bc let me tell you, mama ain’t fucking around. It’s my front tooth!)

Anyway, I was making the most of it. I was catching up on work nicely with the lack of distractions at home, I was killing it with my current knitting project, and I was taking advantage of hiding out like a hermit by spring cleaning. I figured why not make lemonade? Well I woke up one morning with a couple nasty bug bites. Living downtown for over 10 years, in 5 different apartments, I knew this wasn’t just any bug bite…

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Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at a bed bug. So not only am I recovering from an injury, got unfairly ousted from an organization I was proud to be apart of, I now had to deal with this bullshit! For anyone who has ever dealt with bed bugs, you know it’s a pain in the ass. For those who haven’t, let me give you a little run down:

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– All articles of clothing must be laundered and sealed, in either bags or airtight bins.
– All furniture must be two feel from the wall
– All closets and under sinks must be emptied and cleaned
– All light switches and electrical covers must be removed
– Boxspring and mattress must be leaned up against the wall
– All pets and persons must be vacated from the unit for 24 hrs.
The list goes on, but you get the jist. Again, thank god I have been able to work from home, giving me the time to get my shit together, but I’ve had to do all of this solo in two days.

Day 8:

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This is me today. Day 8. I have my second of 4 procedures tomorrow, but at least I get a temporary tooth so I can stop scaring children. But even though I’m out cold for most of the day, timing isn’t on my side, because my bed bug spray is on Thursday. So this is what my next two days will look like: – Wake up, answer as many emails as I can, get to my appointment. Get knocked out for 5 hours, and then my friend is coming to get me (and surly videotape whatever high as a kite ridiculousness comes out of my mouth) – Boogie back to my apartment, flip the mattress and boxspring, gather the cats, drive to friend #2’s place to drop off said cats, then get dumped at friend #3s house for some TLC – Answer emails from the day – Thursday work from friend #3 place while friend #2 curses my name while my cats destroy her house (hehe) – Friday, go and collect my furry terrors, get back to my nightmare of an apartment and start putting shit together – Answer emails ????????

And, after this week from hell, we got an update, too.

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Friend made homemade curry for me for dinner last night. She’s super sweet and I love her to death. To both of our surprise however (we clearly have very little experience in this whole fake tooth business), doesn’t the curry stain the tooth fluorescent fucking yellow! I HAD THE TOOTH FOR LESS THAN 4 HOURS AND I ALREADY MESSED IT UP! We both looked at each other, I said “well there’s the gold tooth everyone told me to get”, and we burst out in laughter. So I’m going to rock the budget gangster look until I get my permanent crown in two weeks.

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Ouch–that is definitely one long, painful, grueling week. You know what they say–when it rains it pours. She ended off with this gem of positivity:

Anyway, there you have it guys. Thanks for listening to my rant. To be honest, even though this has been my worst injury to date, it actually hasn’t been the worst experience. I’ve had a lot of support and I’m lucky to have the tenacity to power through. There’s been some tears, but mostly just laughs at how fucking ridiculous this all has been. Like bed bugs?! Seriously universe? Timing is just bloody impeccable.

You can say that again, sis.

Written by Lex Gabrielle

A writer and teacher from New York City who fully supports messy buns and 3+ cups of coffee a day.