Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships with a partner who can be jealous and overprotective. While a little jealousy is okay in relationships, there are times when the jealousy can manifest into something completely toxic and unhealthy–emotional abuse.
For some, it’s hard to differentiate between a controlling partner and one who is emotionally abusive. However, one Twitter user posted text message receipts that perfectly shows the important difference between the two.
@MayLarsen14 posted two different text message threads between a girlfriend and a boyfriend. The girl was telling the boyfriend that she was “out with some friends” and “at a party.” One boyfriend used the situation to make the girlfriend feel guilty and manipulate her into thinking she’s wrong–which is emotionally abusive. The other boyfriend simply told her to have fun and call him later.
If you’re ever in a relationship with someone who makes you feel bad for hanging out with your friends, you should see this as a red flag. Essentially, the first guy is gaslighting his girlfriend into thinking she is untrustworthy by claiming she would cheat on him. Additionally, he’s trying to deflect from his abusive and controlling behavior and manipulating her into thinking she has done something wrong by going out without him.
The other guy shows that he trusts his girlfriend and understands that she should have a life outside of him. He also shows he cares by telling her to let him know she gets home safely. That is the definition of a healthy dynamic.
People on Twitter had a lot of emotional reactions and feelings about this–many who claim they’ve been in the emotionally abusive relationship before and had a hard time coming to terms with it.
My ex used to be like this and it makes me so mad that it took me so long to realize it wasn’t okay
— Electric⚡ (@Lick_mykixx) August 10, 2018
This is clearly manipulation. I’ve dealt with it before. He would get mad at me for going out to a friends house. He would get mad at me for not answering right now. One day, I dropped him. 🤷🏼♀️
— ☀️Stephanie (@stephaknee__) August 9, 2018
Unfortunately, I can admit I’ve acted like the one on the left. Not proud of it, but I know what it can do and I’m growing. A lot of people act that way not knowing the depth of their words. I want people to understand that the left side is in fact unhealthy af.
— 🖖🏼👁💫 (@michaella_byrne) August 10, 2018
Too many people think the first one is normal and IT IS NOT AT ALL IT IS VERY UNHEALTHY
— bunch of nonsense (@karlibunch) August 10, 2018
Just reading the first one i felt the fear and confusion all over again like it’s being said to me. Damn #neveragain
— ♦️Kneecocoa♦️ (@msAndrews_) August 10, 2018
The person who emotionally abused me used almost this exact language.
— Lauren Mitchell (@justawren) August 10, 2018
Sad bc I’ve been in relationships where I know I have to even word sentences differently just to make sure it doesn’t “trigger” my BF who would twist any situation
— abby (@AbbyJReese) August 10, 2018